Honestly i feel Like...

"i don't know where i stand with you, & i don't know what i mean to you...all i know is every time i think of you, all i wanna do is be with you..."

it's really weird 4 me to have this feelings AGAIN for the first time in a long time...& honestly I'm scared...like the last time i actually had these feelings it led to heartbreak and renowned emptiness...& i really don't want to make the same mistake twice.
i really feel as though happiness in eminent and just out of my grasp...waiting for me to attain it...But what the mind wants and what the heart needs are at constant battle. it's a daily battle that encompasses alot of stressful thoughts...butthat's What you get when you let your heart win...

Fear...

i'm scared because...
i dont want anyone else to have your heart
i dont want anyone else to kiss your lips
i dont want anyone else to be in your arms
i dont want anyone else to be the one you love
i'm scared because i dont want anyone to take my place...

-author unknown
-These words coming out my mouth...100% relevant 2 what i feel right now...

Ready for Love (Original Poem)

Am I ready to let love come in?
Ready for that rise and fall
Ready for the stress and drama that accompanies loves call

Am I ready to care again?
Ready for that mental obsession
Ready to willingly add weights to my back getting into a deep depression

Am i ready to put my heart on the line?
Ready for it to be shattered, torn and broken
Ready to be fully transparent & have all that's true loudly spoken

Am I ready to defend what's true?
ready to clarify & argue with no amends
Ready to stand my ground and speak like there's no end

Am I ready to be happy again?
Ready for my face to glow and my eyes to smile
Ready to laugh at envious whores whose actions are anything but senile

Am i ready to grow as a person?
ready to become older and wiser
Ready to broaden my horizons and teach the true art of being a womanizer

-Mell

WORTH

It was said “love is worth the heartbreak”
But how can such a statement be true?
It’s as if riches are worth the rags
And all actions worth the consequences
The concept just doesn’t make sense
All the nights spent alone
Caller ID, no missed calls on my phone
Loud cries in the dark
Messing around, tryna feel that spark
Slitting your wrists as the darkness uncovers
He really didn’t give a d--- is all you discover
But then there’s a dream following that nightmare
Late nights spent on the phone
Talking to the world, not alone
Kissing in the rain…feeling that SPARK
Into the night---walks in the park by dark
He’ll cross an ocean for you is what you discover
You’d cross two is what he uncovers
So is love worth the heartbreak?
Even if that proves untrue, my <3 is being put at stake.

-Mell

Alice in Wonderland

its really funny...i never thought abt Alice in wonderland in terms of its relevance to my life until my friend shanice pointed it out to me.

Alice had to undergo temptation, stress, obligation and SO much BUT through it all she stayed positive and learned alot from it....

shes pretty awesome if u ask me...and someone you can look up to.
btw...i <3 the mad hatter (johnny depp)